The Great Divorce 2016: Trump Vs. Clinton Vs. America

2016 Election Harry Potter Style

While there are plenty of strange news stories today they are all either politics, death, or both. Elections years are always rough, but this is a shit show to beat all others.

We are a country full of all types of people, some who are conservative, some are liberal. Some liberal friends are voting for Trump, some conservative friends are voting for Clinton. And a good portion of them dislike both.

And as the election nears it seems they like each other less and less…

Perhaps this is why I have always hated politics. Because like divorce, it brings out the very worst in everybody. As the election season progresses, I feel more and more like a child watching their parents call each other every name in the book.

You love them both, but you desperately wish they would just get their shit together.

There is this whole story about how they really just want what is best for the children, and they put on a good show of it. But underneath all of the battles over what is best for us, they are too busy fighting to actually listen to us.

Big Daddy Conservative thinks we have been babied too long, it’s time for us to know what the real world is like. It’s cold, and hard, and ugly. There are dangerous people out there, doing horrible things, and the injuns, er, the commies, the dirty hippies, no… I mean the foreigners are going to destroy us all with their newfangled ways.

He rails against the things that fathers do, and insists that we will understand when we are as old and wise as they are… but really and truly, he just wants what is best for the family. We just have to trust him…

Momma, she just wants what is best for the family too, she just has different ways of going about things. Momma, she worries, that’s what mothers do. She worries about our diet, and our weight, and our education, and our relationships. She worries about everything really, and sometimes she meddles… but only because she worries…

Father, he’s grumpy for a reason. He worries about things like money, and jobs, and guns, and money, and wars, and prices of gasoline, and recreation, and money. You can’t blame him, he works and work, he works at home, and he works when he plays. If it weren’t for football, or fishing, or time in the man cave, he would go insane. The one thing he can count on in his life is that there will never be enough of something.

Momma, she really just wants everybody to get along. Mind your manners, and don’t fight at the dinner table. Say please, and thank you, and most of all I’m sorry. She sees father scowling at her over the newspaper, so many things to be angry about. He gets angry with her because he thinks she is oblivious to the bad, but she’s really just trying like hell to focus on the good.

They each have their own way of doing things… it’s just how things are.

Daddy sends you to bed without supper, and momma sneaks in with a sandwich and some milk for a talk. Daddy, he’s a fan of punishment and discipline. Momma, she prefers a softer and gentler approach, sometimes to a fault.

There are times in life when you are thankful for your mothers ways, when she can help you through a situation that nobody else ever could. Sometimes you come up against a situation in the adult world and you realize your mothers wisdom is what got your through.

Oh, but there are those days when something daddy taught you comes back to you. Especially those things you weren’t supposed to tell mother about. They help you make a wiser decision. You stand up for yourself. You defend yourself.

If you really think about it, you needed both of them in your life. If you can take bits of those lessons you learned from both, you find balance in your life.

Children of divorce, they don’t have those same opportunities for balance. The fighting, the pulling, the bickering, the battling… now they say they are doing the right thing, but more and more they just want to be right.

That is when marriages begin to fall apart, about the time that people become so focused on being right that they lose sight of the right thing. After that, it’s not about the home, or the family, it’s about who wins the war.

A country is like a family, only on a larger scale. So, what happens when a country goes dysfunctional. Look around my friends, just look around.

This is what happens when dysfunction takes over. When communication breaks down. When people start whispering behind each others backs. When people just start making stuff up. When conspiracies take hold. When friends become enemies and family becomes the

When the world turns black and white…

If this country really were a family, surely the judge would have tired of these antics by now. All parties would have been ordered into mediation, family therapy, anger management, parenting classes, and weekly AA meetings for good measure.

People keep trying to get me to take this side, or that… or even worse, they assume that I am on the other side just because I’m not fully on the other.

With a great sigh, I try to explain that there are no sides. The sides do not exist. I hate to go all Matrix on you, but it’s the truth. They’ve told you that there are two sides, and only two, and even if you do not like those two… you owe it to God and country to vote for the lesser of the two evils…

Those aren’t even my words. I wish they were, but they aren’t.

They tell you that a vote for a third party candidate is a wasted vote. What they don’t remind you of is that thanks to the electoral college, if you live in California your entire state only gets 55 votes for 17.7 million registered voters. So if you and about 400,000 friends get together you can swing one vote. Maybe… if your state mostly votes the same as you have, and if the people chosen to represent your state in the electoral college agree with you. There is no law forcing them to go with the will of the voters. That’s how presidents lose the popular vote while still winning elections.

Remember president Gore? (+540,000 votes ahead?) Exactly.

So… it really is like a divorce. They’ve got you sitting in the kitchen, lights glaring down on you, both just staring you down. Saying… which one of us do you want to live with? Which one? It’s your choice, you can choose, just choose. Which one?

But in reality, you don’t have a choice in anything. They just tell you that to make themselves feel better. Nobody has a choice in anything anymore. There are judges, and lawyers, and mediators and child welfare experts, and all of these people who have jobs to do, and you aren’t a person anymore, you are a case number.

In political speak corporations, and special interest groups, and lobbyists took over this country long ago. And not so long ago, Hillary Clinton was sitting in the front row at Donald Trumps wedding, and Bill Clinton and Donald Trump were playing golf together. They sit in the same meetings with the same people… and those people aren’t us.

So, enough of this divorce. This is not a country of children children anymore and we don’t need to be treated as such. Maybe we need to leave Mommy and Daddy alone to work this out for themselves while the rest of us figure out how to get back to the family business… and being a family again.

It’s okay to step away from the dysfunction sometimes… trust me on this one.

This year, is a year like no other to vote for none of the above.

May I suggest an alternative?



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