The First National Mental Health Pride Day, Parades Scheduled…

Boshemia

I was sitting in the waiting room the other day, thinking…

I was waiting to meet my 12th mental health professional, (give or take,) and wondering if this time would be any different.

You can’t blame me.

As I thought about the many roads I’ve traveled trying to find my way to mental health. It’s been a constant battle, that involved husbands, children, friends, family, strangers.

Some have been supportive, others have been less than, still others have kicked me while I was down. Every. Chance. They. Had.

I’ve had professionals, and non-professionals, and healers, and quacks. They’ve tried every thing. I’ve tried every thing.

But there’s always one more thing…

So as I wait in yet another office waiting room, (If there is a hell, it is a doctors office waiting room,) hoping that this one thing, will be THE thing…

Because nobody actually wants to live like this.

Nobody.

There will never be a mental health rights movement. There will never be mental illness pride parades. There will never be a day when being mentally ill will be thoroughly accepted.

As I thought these thoughts, I couldn’t help but feel sad. We didn’t ask for this. We didn’t choose it. We are, for the most part anyhow, born this way.

I tell people I’m disabled, I no longer try to hide it. Not just physically, but way down deep in my brain, something is broken. After a lifetime of playing pretend has gotten me… well… where I am today. I don’t want to pretend anymore.

I can’t pretend anymore.

And I can’t try harder anymore.

No, there will never be a Mental Illness Pride Day, because pride and mental illness will never go together.

Isn’t that sad?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *